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Swamp Buggy
Page IV
February 20th, 2004
Johnny turned and laid his head on the dog's ribcage and tried to relax. The anxious feeling was hitting him hard again, gurgling his touchy, unfed stomach, and he began to feel a cold sweat developing. It was either go back out and listen to Joanie bitch, or lay here and try to fall asleep until she left.
He lay there for quite a while, fighting off the inane thoughts that will rise up in your mind seemingly specifically to prevent a guy from falling asleep. He was lucky enough to have spent many nights concentrating on his breathing and the black nothingness that underlies everything, to recognize he didn't need to figure out how they get the consistency of of GOOP hand cleaner to come out like they do.
His grandfather was a very dedicated Buddhist, and tried as often as he could to help the boy to meditate to open the door to understanding the value of his daily struggles. As stupid as Johnny sometimes felt on afternoons after school, with his legs crossed on the deep, shaggy green rug that covered the middle of his grandfather's room at the retirement home, and the old man repeating the Padma Sambhava prayer, he always felt good when he left.
Johnny felt warm and comfortable laying there on Sparky, and the cottony soft vision of a spring afternoon in the warmth of the sun filled his mind's eye. The Incredible green of the fields and the warm smell of the grass beginning to germinate under the baking rays of the warm day subtly drifted by, flooding his senses as they faded gently into one another.
Mrs. McCoy, his eighth grade Social Sciences teacher , had nearly cracked open the mussel on the chest of the giant sea otter she was straddling, with her tiny wings flapping only barely perceptibly each time she struggled to pull apart the smiling lips of the shell, when he was jolted awake by the sudden crack of his skull onto the wood floor below.
The dog was sitting back on his haunches, snuffling and trying to scratch his belly, missing Johnny's nose by just a hair with the long rear toenails that always seemed to need trimming.
With an abrupt motion Johnny pulled his head from under the potential swirling toe nail destruction above to meet Joanie's eyes, a pitiful expression darkening her. "The poor thing, he can barely stand up anymore", she lamented.
Her glance shifted quickly away from him, and in his half asleep stupor, Johnny didn't realize the issue. "You don't seem to be having any problems, as usual." Johnny glanced nervously down to the erection that poked up from his sweat pants and drew his legs up under him with a disgusted look.
"I've got to get ready to go, but I thought we should talk before you leave. I know I don't have to tell you this, but I love you, Johnny. You'll always be my son, no matter where you go, or what you do with your life, and I'll always love you." She shifted nervously to lean in the doorway and pushed a piece of hair back from her eyes. "I don't know what else to say."
Johnny hugged his knees to his chest and laid his chin on his hands. He half yawned and looked at her sideways. "I'm sorry about that shit in the kitchen, you know I don't mean that, Joanie." "I just wish that once in a while we could all act like normal people".
The dog, unfazed by the comparatively soft tone of the conversation, sprawled back out on the clothes with a dull thud, and closed his eyes.
"Normal how, I don't know, I guess", he said. "Just civil, that's all. I mean where is Nicole? At that fucking Jack's house? How do you let that shit go on? She's 16 for Christ sake, she shouldn't be sleeping at some guy's house. I won't even get to say goodbye to her."
Joanie opened her mouth and closed it, percing her lips with a slightly perplexed look, and looked away from him toward the window.
"I don't want to fight about this, Joanie, I'm just saying look out for her a little now that I'm going to be gone. She needs you around once in a while."
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Flash Crash Rumble and Roll
November 12th, 2003
Jinx
November 20th, 2003
Kid Rock
November 27th, 2003
Biwwy
December 4th, 2003
Da Crusher
December 30th, 2003
Amsterdam and the Dentist
January 2nd,
2004
Champagne and Reefer
January 24th, 2004
Swamp Buggy
February 6th, 2004
30 Days in the Hole
February 10th, 2004
Swamp Buggy - Pg. II
February 16th, 2004
Swamp Buggy - Pg. III
February 20th, 2004
Swamp Buggy - Pg. IV
June 1st, 2004
London Calling
June 16th, 2004
Eddie